


Now and Forever

by Sam KW (samudee)



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 20:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4934107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samudee/pseuds/Sam%20KW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for challenge 102 on sh911: Me or Thee<br/>Whose POV is this written from ?  Reader has to decide! Let me know what you think! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now and Forever

How it all stated, I couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter because right now I want to forget all of it.

In a strange way, it made me happy to see Sweet Alice at the bar, lost in her own world, all alone… just like me. I knew she would understand. Knew she faced this loneliness every day in her life. Something about her faraway expression spoke volumes about where she has been to; places I didn’t even know existed. I slid onto the stool beside her, while ordering a beer for myself.

Alice turned around and her face lit up with a smile. "Oh, mah," she said, her smile disappearing a bit. "Ya don’t look so good." She rested her fingers lightly against my wrist, looking concerned.

"One of those days, you know. How about you, Sweet Alice?"

"Business as usual, I suppose. How come y'all never come to see me no more?"

Her concern was genuine. The feather-light touch, those big round beautiful blue eyes, and the wide smile all together made me feel as if I belonged to her, just for that little moment. Just what I needed for now; a friendship with no complications where I could breathe freely. The only remedy for my heartaches, soul aches, would be an understanding friendship with a kindred spirit.  

But I keep thinking of him, and it only made things worse; who am I kidding? There wasn't a second that escaped without him leaving a mark on my soul. And now… his body and mind is scarred, shattered and destroyed. I'm responsible for the damage.

"He's dying." _For me. Because of me._

"I heard," She said softly.

"He took what was meant for me." I closed my eyes, trembling as the memory of the death sentence that was bestowed upon me, and then _him_ , weighed me down.

_Please God, make me forget._

"I know." Alice gently squeezed my hand.

She didn't know… she didn’t know the whole truth. He wasn't dying of the bullets that ripped across his body. I had started the process already… I hurt him in the worst possible way. Alex Drew finished off the rest of him, today.

I wrapped my fingers around the brew and watched the bubbles fizzle to the top.

Why did I ever think that I could stop this storm from blowing? We had been drifting apart for a while. The little endearments we showered each other had disappeared. Gone were the simple touches that healed us, leaving bleeding hearts and raw wounds. It hurt as hell.

He always got close to the wrong woman, just like I had done a million times. Rosey, Terri, Gillian, Emily, Marianne and Kira. Loved and lost. Their presence made our lives richer. But losing them made me realize what we had together was all what I'd truly ever need.

I had to let him know how I felt about him… but I wanted _him_ to make the first move. I waited… I waited to hear him say those three words. _I love you_. I wanted him to tell me that there wouldn’t be anyone else in his life. I had known it all along, but I wanted _him_ to tell _me_ that _I_ didn’t need anyone else in my life, either. He didn’t say a word; not the way I thought he would.

How could I be so stupid?

Because he had been telling me all of it. He had been asking the question all this time. He had been telling me how he felt, every day. I never heard him because I didn’t listen.

He would lay his arms around my shoulders for a longer time, and I would shrug them off. His eyes roamed all over my body before settling on my eyes, holding and trapping me with a soft hypnotic look… but I remained blindfolded. His palm rested on my knee, while his thumb drew circles at the side. I pushed his arm away saying I'm ticklish. He offered me half of his coffee and I said it wasn't the real thing.

I had a one track mind.

I wanted him to _tell_ me… tell me in _words_ , and refused to listen to him when he did in his own way.

As if what we had to deal with weren't enough, Alex Drew had escaped from prison, vowing to kill me. He had gotten hold of the ballistic report which revealed that the bullet that killed his wife was fired from my piece.

"It's all my fault, Alice," I said, my thoughts skimming through the events that took place two days ago.

_"Do you want to get something to eat at El Chparro?" I asked, after we had signed off for the day. "My treat."_

_"Serving yourself on a silver platter by turning into a walking target?" he asked, his voice hard with annoyance._

_Why didn’t he just say okay, and shut the fuck up, I thought angrily. "It's just a matter of time, and there's only one way to end this. Sooner the better because I don’t fucking care."_

_His eyes warred with my mine, momentarily. "There's only one way he could get to you-- and that's over my dead body."_

**_Over my dead body._ **

_I ignored the goosebumps that rippled all over my arms. "Since when have you thought of putting your body into a worthwhile cause, partner?" I snapped at him, knowing very well I was killing him with my words._

Why did I ever say something like that to him?

Why did I make _him_ say something like that to _me_?

Complete silence during the ride up to El Chaparro was unbearable. Getting out of the car even before he killed the engine, I walked towards the restaurant as if I couldn't wait to get myself away from him.

What happened within the next couple of seconds changed everything.

Sound of gunshot from my partner's piece, him screaming my name and yelling at me to get down, deafening sound of ammo from a semi-automatic, more gunfire from various directions… all happening within a split second. Next thing I knew was getting pinned down to the floor, my partners breath fanning cross my face, his body draped over mine, covering and shielding me from the hail of bullets thrashing around.  

And I could feel him convulsing with the impact of the slugs ripping into his body.

I felt every vibration as he gave himself to save me. His life, his blood-- soaking into my shirt and pants, seeping all through onto my skin.

_God-- Make me forget!_

I rubbed at my chest. The pressure had shrunk my lungs, preventing me from breathing. I was told later that the plain-clothed officers who were assigned for my security had fired back at Drew, taking him down. I had no idea about the measures my partner had taken to ensure my safety.

"You should go to him."

"I can't, Alice. I did that to him."

"Go to him. Tell him…"

"Tell him what? That I'm sorry for what happened? That it's my fault he's dying? That—"

"It has been two days and he's still with us. So tell him that you love him. Give him a reason to fight back."

***

_Tell him that you love him._ How did Alice know? Had he talked to her about us?

_Give him a reason to fight back_. I wish it was that simple.

"He's out of the coma," Captain Dobey said as soon as I reached the fifth floor of the hospital. "Not fully alert, yet."

**_He's alive._ **

I clutched at my shirt, feeling the wild beating of my heart against my ribs.  

"He wouldn't leave you." Huggy said, not taking his eyes off the still figure on the bed. "The universe will lose its mojo if he's up there and you are down here. The two of you'd always be together. That's what's meant to be."

_Me and Thee. Always._

I walked into his room. Pulling a chair towards the bed, I sat beside him. Trapping his fingers between mine with one hand, I cradled his face in the other. _I'm here. Please don't leave me._

He may not have been fully awake, yet, but he knew it was me. His fingers pressed against mine, oh, so lightly, but I felt him, and he leaned his cheek into my hand.

So much of trust, love and need.

"I want to see many more sunrises in those eyes." I said leaning towards him. " _I love you_. You hear me? I want you with me, now and forever."

His eyes fluttered open and fixed me with a glazed stare.

"Me, too. Always."

It was as simple as that, after all.

********************************************

 


End file.
